Four months. That’s how long it’s been since I asked you to leave. That’s how long it’s been since you sat on the couch, looked me straight in the eyes and told me you were going to continue to see your affair partner. That’s how long I’ve been living a life free of your abuse.
I want you to know that I never loved you. I fell in love with the person that you created just for me. You[...]
~Continued from Survivor Series: Drowning in Infidelity and Emotional Abuse~
It had been almost a year and a half of the lies, the half-truths, and the manipulation. I started to forget what it felt like to be happy. Peace of mind or stability? They didn't exist for me.
In February of 2020, my husband resigned from his job to begin working closer to home. After finishing the old job, he asked if we could go for a[...]
I used to love her. At least I thought I did. Being manipulated feels a lot like love if you've never experienced the real thing before. And I hadn't.
We met the summer after my junior year. She was gorgeous, the kind of girl who could hook you with just a glance. Every guy was fighting for her attention so when she set her sights on me, I snatched her up.
We started dating shortly after we first hung out, and a whirlwind[...]
There’s never a convenient time to leave. People ask me why I didn’t leave sooner or how I could put my kids in danger for so long. They wonder why it would be so difficult to get out; it’s not like he’s around 24/7.
They don’t understand.
I didn’t have a choice.
Living with John was a never-ending nightmare, but it was all I knew. I moved in with him when I was 17. I was young,[...]
This was it.
Every parent's nightmare.
His precious little girl with tears streaming down her face.
Broken. Hurting. Telling the most unbelievable story.
It couldn't be true? Could it?
His doubt was partially anchored in the who. His brother would never have touched her. It was unimaginable. He was a good uncle, friend, and father himself. He couldn't have done something so...awful.
And even if, in some bizarre world[...]
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Could time move any slower??
Brent* was struggling to keep his eyelids open, let alone pretend to pay attention, while the English teacher droned on and on about participles and subjunctive tenses and….oh honestly, she might as well have been speaking French. He hated English. The teacher probably hated him for sleeping through every class, failing tests, and forgetting assignments, but he was[...]
There’s something about the month of June that just tends to put people in such a great mood, you know? June is typically the beginning of summer vacation for kids and teens, it’s the month when the sun really begins to shine and the weather warms up, everything becomes so green and lush, days can be spent by the pool or hanging out at a softball/baseball game, and many people begin to take their family[...]
If you’ve been on social media, have watched TV, or talked to basically anyone recently, you might have noticed that the hot topic of debate at the moment is Lifetime’s new documentary series titled “Surviving R. Kelly”. If you haven’t heard about it, the documentary series focuses on the testimonies of women who claim they are survivors of the multiplatinum singer’s alleged domestic and[...]
Halloween has ended and so we enter the season of thanks. My fellow advocates and I have been reflecting on what we are thankful for and we certainly have a lot of answers! We’re very thankful for things like family, friends, our pets, and our work. These are all great answers, but I’ve been reflecting, and I feel there are some important ones that we’ve overlooked.
What if we were to think about[...]
Let’s imagine the following scenario together: a friend is telling you about a co-worker they have who was recently assaulted by their spouse. Your friend explains that over the weekend, their co-worker had to be admitted to the hospital after a fight between the co-worker and their spouse escalated to physical violence. Your friend was shocked to learn this as they always thought that their co-worker had such a[...]
Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Avicii. Tyler Honeycutt. You may or may not recognize these names and you may or may not see the connection between them.
Each one is a celebrity, but all have something much greater in common. All these people have committed suicide this year.
Suicide is a difficult subject for many and rightfully so. It is hard to understand how a person could take their own life. Family and friends are[...]
According to the Walk Free Movement 45.8 million people are enslaved worldwide. Nearly 1 in 3 victims of slavery are children. Over half of victims of slavery are women and children. The National Human Trafficking Hotline has received 13,454 this year with 31 human trafficking cases being reported in Iowa.
The Advocates at the Iowa Domestic Violence & Victim Service Call Center are among the 8.3 million[...]
Families and friends of homicide victims experience a sudden traumatic, life changing loss. Homicide is not a normal, lifespan death or illness. It is a crime. Your loved one has been suddenly taken from you and now you must try to reorganize your life and go on.
Coping with a violent death is always difficult. Iowa Homicide & Other Violent Crimes programs were developed with the mission to ensure survivors’ and[...]
Since October 2015 we have received 4,862 incoming calls from victims. Not from one specific part of the state, not from one specific gender or ethnicity and not from one specific age group. Violence affects low and high income, all gender identities and ethnicities as well as the young and the old. Violence knows no boundaries. As advocates answering your phone call we want you to know the following things:
The Office for Victims of Crime (OVC) promotes victims’ rights every April, honoring crime victims and those who advocate on their behalf, with the recognition of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW). This year’s theme – Serving Victims. Building Trust. Restoring Hope. – presents the opportunity to highlight the importance of providing needed services at the earliest stages of[...]
The countdown is on! Only six more days before Sexual Assault Awareness Month begins. What a great opportunity for us all to put our focus on such an important topic. Let’s all join together to recognize the strength and courage of sexual assault victims and survivors, partner with each other to make our resources stronger and focus energy in sexual assault prevention.
Let’s start with defining what sexual[...]
Below are a few statistics from the National Domestic Violence Helpline (www.thehotline.org):
- On average, 24 people per minute[...]
Do you have a teenager that is starting to explore the world of dating? If so, it is important for you to be aware and to educate them about teen dating violence. According to the National Health Information Center more than 1 in 10 teens, who have been on a date, have been physically abused by their boyfriend or girlfriend.
According to an article posted by Northwest Community Healthcare, teen dating violence is[...]
Working for the Iowa Domestic Violence Helpline has been a very rewarding, inspiring, and eye-opening opportunity for me. I can honestly say that I was blind to how prevalent domestic violence really is.
The training to become a Helpline Advocate was intensive and prepared me for the day we started taking calls. Something that I hold onto from my training is that being an advocate doesn’t stop[...]
The holiday season is upon us and most of us are busy with traditions, family gatherings and the joy that holidays bring. But for many, the holidays continue on as any other day; with an all-encompassing fear and feelings of isolation. Domestic violence doesn’t take a break for Thanksgiving, Christmas or any other holidays. It still persists for so many people.